I got up and did my usual this morning getting Mark off to work and such.
I'm still struggling and if doing program wasn't a habit I'd be in big trouble. I'm realizing that the habit is all that keeps me going. I don't know what else to do. I have enough fear not to lose control and go back up even though I think about it, plan for it but I can't follow through.
I slept alot today which is telling me that I'm depressed. I also found it hard wanting to fix anything to eat so again I'm just grabbing what I can but at least I'm tracking and staying within my points. It seems like I am having the hardest time coming out here and boring you all with my doing nothing these days. I'm surprised that I still have people even hitting the blog. Those of you who are still reading and keeping up with me, thanks for not giving up. I'm sure that I can and I will work through this all. I know that there are lessons to be learned. I wish counseling could be going full throttle and not at the so called discovery stage. I feel like I need help now and quick. Maybe Zoloft isn't the drug that I need to be on. Maybe I need to be on something different. I want to be happy. I want to function. I want to have desire. I hate where I am right now. It is awful.
Tonight I did try a new simple dish that I found on the WW Boards. You take many different dry spices and roll chicken thighs in it. You are suppose to broil them but I decided to grill them and when they are almost done you baste them with a glaze of honey and cider vinegar. They were outstanding. I'll have to make them again and when I do I'll take a picture of them and post them on the site.
Speaking of the site. I think that on Saturday I will move the blog back to the website. I'm fixing to get my iPad back from Mike and I'm going to start working on straightening out the blog so that it will all be intact in one place. It is stupid that I keep posting here knowing that all of these will have to be re-typed back into the website. I might as well pick a starting place and start moving forward with the blog where I really want it. Back on the real website. So...if you come and see a link just follow it and I'll get you all use to going back to the website just like I got you all use to coming out here.
We watched re-runs of The Biggest Loser. I love that show. Oh how I would love to be a contestant on that show. I bet they could get the weight off of me. Don't you? They might kill me too. But I do love to watch the show as it keeps me motivated and shows me that this can be done.
Well it is late and even though I've slept alot today I'm tired and tomorrow is another day. I hope it is a better day.
Keep me in your prayers. I'm hanging in there! Much love to all of you!
Thursday, May 6, 2010
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Re: comment about Zoloft. I used to take that. I found out that generic Zoloft is NOTHING like the real thing. So, I began to wonder if you are taking the brand name or a generic version. If generic, then try going back to the real stuff. It does make a difference. Also, after a long while on Zoloft, even the good stuff, one can get to a point where.... well, I got rather down in the dumps. At this point the dr wanted to add Wellbutin. I said no, I'll just quit it all.
ReplyDeleteI did and it worked for me but it might not work for you. However, consider you might have built up too much of whatever it is and you may need a break from it. Good luck!
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