Year 3, Day 134

You know what?...I hope like hell that I get out of this funk that I'm in!!!!!

I don't know why I'm having such a hard time coming out here to do this blog! I just don't want to do anything! I have been feeling like crud and I just want to sleep! I can't wait for my Dr.'s appointment on Monday so I can see if these fluid pills are missing me up and pulling too much off of me.

Again today I got nothing done. I just walk through the house and can find no motivation to do anything. It is the pits! I have so much to do. A lot of projects to work on. I just don't want to do it. I haven't even wanted to be on the computer! This is getting bad.

Dinner was out again and we watched TV.

Sounds like the same o same o doesn't it?

I can write about this. I am really loving this Body Bugg. It is a real neat thing. I'm not crazy about journaling twice but I do love seeing the percentages of protein fat and carbs that I'm eating and I also love that it is tracking the sodium since Mike seems to think that is a issue for me. It is cool cause it tracks by the minute how many calories I'm burning. Even just sitting around! I really do love it and I hope that it pays off and gets this weight moving again. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think that this past year my weight would be doing what it is doing. I feel like I'm losing my drive. I can't let this happen.

I need something to light my fire again. SOMETHING!

I also don't want to go to Dallas this weekend. I want to see Mark's family but I hate dealing with the food issues away from home because people don't understand. You are dependent on what people are planning and I just plain hate the unknown. The saving grace is that Mark was kind enough to agree to us getting a hotel room just in case it all gets to me. At least right now he understands how important it is for me to keep my sanity!

Tomorrow and Friday will be a busy day. I'll be getting towards the deadline to get things done!

Please keep sending BIG LOSER VIBES my way. Pray for me! I'm scaring myself!

Love you guys! Thanks for hanging in there with me!